Put a Stamp on It!

December 1972

Jungle Action #2

Stamp collecting is a time-honored hobby, but apparently it was really big with comic book nerds in the ’70s, because the entire right column of this classifieds page is devoted to stamp collecting!

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I also like the “PLAY GUITAR IN 7 DAYS OR MONEY BACK” – sure, but it doesn’t say anything about how well you’ll be able to play guitar in that amount of time!

Is Mr. America a Cheap Knockoff of Captain America?

December 1972

Jungle Action #2

Following in the tradition of Charles Atlas, here we’ve got Joe Weider, who promises to turn you from a scrawny weakling to a buff manly man all with the help of his free booklet!

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Somehow I doubt that the guys in this ad owe all their success and muscleyness to a 32-page book, but I suppose it’s possible…

The Oh-So-Classy Classifieds

December 1989

Wonder Woman #37

Classifieds provide a smorgasbord  of cheesiness – they’re the cheapest advertising that money can buy in comics, meaning that they’re usually the lowest quality… which also means they can sometimes be the most entertaining!

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I think my favorite on here is the “Live Chameleon FREE!” ad (of course, the lizard is only free if you buy a six-month supply of food). Though the “!!GET ALL THE GIRLS!!  !!BECOME RICH & POPULAR!!  * ONLY $3.95 *” is pretty great – for only $3.95, how could you afford not to order??

Don’t Be Half A Man! Thanks to Charles Atlas

December 1972

Jungle Action #2

This one ranks right up there with Sea-Monkeys in terms of just how classic it is – Charles Atlas!

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Yes, you too can get a body like that in only 15 minutes a day! And then you can beat up bullies on the beach and all the girls will like you! It’s all so simple, right?

I love how on the form where you can check off your interests, in addition to the standard bodybuilding stuff, there’s also “magnetic personality” – I guess maybe they send exercises for your brain too?