Don’t Use Your Karate Skills on the Seahorses!

February 1976

Claw The Unconquered #5

It’s another random grab bag of mini ads!

1976-02_Classifieds_P

The one that strikes me the most here is the one for live seahorses – they’ll send you two “freshly caught” mated pairs, with at least one pregnant. OK, I have two main thoughts on this:

  1. Sending live, pregnant seahorses through the mail seems like it would be prohibitively difficult/risky.
  2. Capturing seahorses from the wild and then sending them through the mail seems rather cruel… and seems like it should be illegal.

At least Sea Monkeys are in a type of suspended animation when they’re shipped, but live, conscious animals is a whole different story!

Classifieds – Helping You Become a Tall, Fat Accountant

December 1972

Jungle Action #2

So when I first read “Rover and men on the Moon,” I took “Rover” to be a dog’s name, and assumed that the book would be something insanely awesome and/or cheesy. Alas, I now realize that they probably mean the type of vehicle instead, which is still cool, but not nearly as odd/exciting for me.

1972-12_Classifieds-3_P

And I’m curious to know the secret behind “BE TALLER!” – unless they’re selling platform shoes, I kind of doubt the validity of their claim.

I also like the fact that there’s a classified ad that is advertising methods for writing classified ads – it’s so meta!

So Much Fun For So Little Money!

April 1980

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century #7

OK, time to get back to the classics! I’ve had fun posting stuff from Deadpool #1, but I think that older ads tend to be more fun. I’ve still got some ads from Deadpool #1 that I’ll post at some point, but they’ll be interspersed with the older, more classic stuff.

And speaking of classics, here are tons of them!

1980-04_Fun-Factory_P

I can only imagine how much allowance money went toward the stuff on pages like these… and how much disappoint resulted when the products didn’t live up to expectations.

I think my favorite item on here is the Atomic Mini Pistol – how, exactly, is it atomic? I mean, I guess it’s made up of atoms, but beyond that, I can’t really see how “atomic” applies here…