Apparently Amusing

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

Here we’ve got another installment from our friends at Fun Factory (see a 1980 ad from them here). In this ad they have fewer items, but devote more space to each one.

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On the pocket spy scope, the lens is “optimally ground to view ever detail” – I always get a kick out of finding typos in printed material (I’m an editor by trade, so spotting errors is what I do), but I find it especially funny that this is in a sentence talking about detail! I also love that it’s “Great for watching sports, girls, counter spying” … so, it’s great for being a stalker, then?

On the X-Ray Specs, I like that they put the disclaimer-esque “Apparently” in front of the “see thru” bit – they never said you could actually see through stuff, so no complaining when it doesn’t work! Also, “Apparently see thru bones”? Aren’t bones the one part you’re supposed to see (not see through) with X-rays?

 

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Don’t Use Your Karate Skills on the Seahorses!

February 1976

Claw The Unconquered #5

It’s another random grab bag of mini ads!

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The one that strikes me the most here is the one for live seahorses – they’ll send you two “freshly caught” mated pairs, with at least one pregnant. OK, I have two main thoughts on this:

  1. Sending live, pregnant seahorses through the mail seems like it would be prohibitively difficult/risky.
  2. Capturing seahorses from the wild and then sending them through the mail seems rather cruel… and seems like it should be illegal.

At least Sea Monkeys are in a type of suspended animation when they’re shipped, but live, conscious animals is a whole different story!

 

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Classifieds – Helping You Become a Tall, Fat Accountant

December 1972

Jungle Action #2

So when I first read “Rover and men on the Moon,” I took “Rover” to be a dog’s name, and assumed that the book would be something insanely awesome and/or cheesy. Alas, I now realize that they probably mean the type of vehicle instead, which is still cool, but not nearly as odd/exciting for me.

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And I’m curious to know the secret behind “BE TALLER!” – unless they’re selling platform shoes, I kind of doubt the validity of their claim.

I also like the fact that there’s a classified ad that is advertising methods for writing classified ads – it’s so meta!

So Much Fun For So Little Money!

April 1980

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century #7

OK, time to get back to the classics! I’ve had fun posting stuff from Deadpool #1, but I think that older ads tend to be more fun. I’ve still got some ads from Deadpool #1 that I’ll post at some point, but they’ll be interspersed with the older, more classic stuff.

And speaking of classics, here are tons of them!

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I can only imagine how much allowance money went toward the stuff on pages like these… and how much disappoint resulted when the products didn’t live up to expectations.

I think my favorite item on here is the Atomic Mini Pistol – how, exactly, is it atomic? I mean, I guess it’s made up of atoms, but beyond that, I can’t really see how “atomic” applies here…

 

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