Don’t Use Your Karate Skills on the Seahorses!

February 1976

Claw The Unconquered #5

It’s another random grab bag of mini ads!


The one that strikes me the most here is the one for live seahorses – they’ll send you two “freshly caught” mated pairs, with at least one pregnant. OK, I have two main thoughts on this:

  1. Sending live, pregnant seahorses through the mail seems like it would be prohibitively difficult/risky.
  2. Capturing seahorses from the wild and then sending them through the mail seems rather cruel… and seems like it should be illegal.

At least Sea Monkeys are in a type of suspended animation when they’re shipped, but live, conscious animals is a whole different story!


Put a Stamp on It!

December 1972

Jungle Action #2

Stamp collecting is a time-honored hobby, but apparently it was really big with comic book nerds in the ’70s, because the entire right column of this classifieds page is devoted to stamp collecting!


I also like the “PLAY GUITAR IN 7 DAYS OR MONEY BACK” – sure, but it doesn’t say anything about how well you’ll be able to play guitar in that amount of time!

Don’t Be Half A Man! Thanks to Charles Atlas

December 1972

Jungle Action #2

This one ranks right up there with Sea-Monkeys in terms of just how classic it is – Charles Atlas!


Yes, you too can get a body like that in only 15 minutes a day! And then you can beat up bullies on the beach and all the girls will like you! It’s all so simple, right?

I love how on the form where you can check off your interests, in addition to the standard bodybuilding stuff, there’s also “magnetic personality” – I guess maybe they send exercises for your brain too?