That Information Is… CLASSIFIED!

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

It’s been a while since I’ve done a classified page, so here you go! I’m actually kind of surprised to see X-Ray Spex in 1978 – for some reason I thought that was more of a ’50s/’60s thing (but apparently I was mistaken on that).


I think probably my favorite “WTF” ad on this page is: “PARENTS bug you? Try Ego Power! Send $7 for instructions” – ummm… OK… With a (lack of) description like that, it makes me wonder if anybody actually took the bait! (And if any of you out there actually did, then please let me know what this is all about!)


Don’t Use Your Karate Skills on the Seahorses!

February 1976

Claw The Unconquered #5

It’s another random grab bag of mini ads!


The one that strikes me the most here is the one for live seahorses – they’ll send you two “freshly caught” mated pairs, with at least one pregnant. OK, I have two main thoughts on this:

  1. Sending live, pregnant seahorses through the mail seems like it would be prohibitively difficult/risky.
  2. Capturing seahorses from the wild and then sending them through the mail seems rather cruel… and seems like it should be illegal.

At least Sea Monkeys are in a type of suspended animation when they’re shipped, but live, conscious animals is a whole different story!

Put a Stamp on It!

December 1972

Jungle Action #2

Stamp collecting is a time-honored hobby, but apparently it was really big with comic book nerds in the ’70s, because the entire right column of this classifieds page is devoted to stamp collecting!


I also like the “PLAY GUITAR IN 7 DAYS OR MONEY BACK” – sure, but it doesn’t say anything about how well you’ll be able to play guitar in that amount of time!

Don’t Be Half A Man! Thanks to Charles Atlas

December 1972

Jungle Action #2

This one ranks right up there with Sea-Monkeys in terms of just how classic it is – Charles Atlas!


Yes, you too can get a body like that in only 15 minutes a day! And then you can beat up bullies on the beach and all the girls will like you! It’s all so simple, right?

I love how on the form where you can check off your interests, in addition to the standard bodybuilding stuff, there’s also “magnetic personality” – I guess maybe they send exercises for your brain too?