Manly Muscly Muscles!

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains

It sure seems like guys in the ’70s were obsessed with muscles… or at least advertisers wanted guys in the ’70s to be obsessed with muscles! Here is yet another system where you can quickly and easily build yourself the body of your (and, of course, girls’) dreams!

1978-01_OlympicMuscles_P

“Imaging” [Um, I think that’s supposed to be “Imagine.”] “walking through your local beach or neighborhood swimming area… friends noticing your Titanic Legs,” [So, legs that fail and sink to the bottom of the ocean?] “your Wide Manly Shoulders,” [Just how wide do shoulders have to be in order to be considered “manly”?] “Rock Hard Stomach Muscles,” [Whew! for a second there I thought they were heading south of the belly button, if ya know what I mean!] “and last but not least, your full High-peaked Biceps” [Is that something that people are actually impressed by? I never knew bicep peaks were a thing…] “that attract second glances from all!” [Because you look like a ‘roid freak!]

So, who do you think would win in a fight: the guy from this ad, Charles Atlas, or Joe Weider?

 

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Don’t Try to Strong Arm Me!

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

You, too, can have strong arms with this “Amazing Motionless Exercise discovery”! Wait a minute – “Motionless Exercise”? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Unless you’re only exercising your brain power, how, exactly, do you exercise without moving?? I guess I’ll have to spend $3.98 if I want to find out!

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On the order form it says: “I must agree that the Dynaflex method has given me powerfully toned muscles, put full strength in my muscles, made me so strong that I can be proud to show my friends how strong I am.” How can they expect you to agree to something that can’t possibly have happened yet?!

Also, the book has a chapter on “SECRETS OF ATTRACTING GIRLS” – I’d just love to see what kind of advice they give!

 

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Hands of Steel for a Man of Steel?

January 1978

Secret Society of Super-Villains

This doesn’t seem to really involve overall strength – just the hands. I mean, sure, strong hands can be good for squeezing and crushing things, but I’d think that strong arms would be much more useful.

1978-01_HandsOfSteel_P

I’m actually surprised they didn’t try to go more into “Man of Steel” territory (maybe because of copyright infringement), but the closest they get is “You can develop the strength of a SUPER HERO!”

 

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