First-Named Stars of the ’70s

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

It’s posters of all of the hottest stars! … from 1978. Here we’ve got a set of five posters: Farrah Fawcett, John Travolta, Jaime Sommers, Steve Austin, and Donny & Marie Osmond – all for only $2! That’s right: You can get the Six Million Dollar Man for only $2 – actually, since you get five posters, that means the Six Million Dollar Man would only be 40¢! That’s more than 99.99% savings!

Or, if you’d prefer, you could also order the set of Kiss, the Hardy Boys, Grizzly Adams, Kristy McNichol, and Baretta.

A couple things of note here: Of the actors, their real names are used for half and their characters’ names for the other half. That seems odd to me – I wonder why they did it that way? Maybe the actors themselves weren’t as well known as their characters? Anyway, I don’t think this incarnation of Steve Austin is nearly as exciting as the last one I featured!

Also, they have a name spelled wrong! “Jamie” is supposed to be “Jaime” – the i is on the wrong side of the m!

 

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Ain’t No Party Like a Deadpool Party!

January 1998

Thunderbolts #10

I wasn’t really into the whole card fad in the ’90s (either trading cards or card games), so a couple things surprised me about this ad: 1) The section for Image is actually advertising a game; 2) There was a subset of X-Men cards called “Deadpool Party”!

Upon doing a little research, it appears that Image, Marvel, and DC all had versions of the OverPower card game, which was kind of similar to Magic.

And as far as the Deadpool Party – that just sounds cool! While they would be very cool to have, a quick check of eBay shows that they’re going for about $10 each, so I think I’ll pass. However, on an amusing note, when I Googled “Deadpool party cards” I got a bunch of results for children’s party invitations featuring Deadpool – really, people?! Even I, a hardcore fan of Deadpool, think it’s wildly inappropriate for little Gavin to have a Deadpool-themed seventh birthday party! Though now that I think about it, I am generally a fan of things that are wildly inappropriate, so maybe it would be entertaining!

 

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Endorsed By King Kong And The Moon!

May 1986

Masters Of The Universe #1

I actually had to add a new category for this one – Health & Hygiene (“Hi, Gene!”) – since stuff like this isn’t advertised in comics that often.

I remember the toothpaste pump fad in the mid-’80s – they just seemed to come out of nowhere, and then all of the sudden, they were everywhere! I think the rationale was supposed to be that the toothpaste was easier to use (was it really that difficult in the first place?) and that there would be less waste (which was difficult to judge, since the toothpaste came in opaque, rigid tubes).

I thought that toothpaste pumps died out in the ’90s, but apparently they’re still around! Whaddaya know!

(Fun fact – While typing that last part, at first I accidentally typed “toothpaste pimps,” which gave me a really interesting and amusing visual! “Hey, man, you wanna go home with some sweet fluoride tonight? You can pump it all night long!”)

I think it’s funny that in this ad they don’t expound on the advantages of getting your toothpaste from a pump rather than a tube. The whole message of this ad can basically be summed up as: “Yay! It’s new!” While not exactly the worst I’ve seen, I think a little more product info could be a good thing.

 

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Don’t Try to Strong Arm Me!

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

You, too, can have strong arms with this “Amazing Motionless Exercise discovery”! Wait a minute – “Motionless Exercise”? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Unless you’re only exercising your brain power, how, exactly, do you exercise without moving?? I guess I’ll have to spend $3.98 if I want to find out!

On the order form it says: “I must agree that the Dynaflex method has given me powerfully toned muscles, put full strength in my muscles, made me so strong that I can be proud to show my friends how strong I am.” How can they expect you to agree to something that can’t possibly have happened yet?!

Also, the book has a chapter on “SECRETS OF ATTRACTING GIRLS” – I’d just love to see what kind of advice they give!

 

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