You Can Subscribe… Just Not to This

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

Yes, you can subscribe to your favorite DC comics! …But just not this one. At first I thought I must’ve just missed it in the listing, but no – Power Girl, the title that Superman himself is showing off here, is not on the list of available titles!

This ad appeared not long before the “DC implosion,” where they canceled about 40% of their titles. In fact, here Amazing World of DC Comics is advertising issue #16 – well, #17 was the last ever published!

Also, this is the first time I’m noticing a subscription price that’s actually higher than the cover price!

 

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Don’t Try to Strong Arm Me!

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

You, too, can have strong arms with this “Amazing Motionless Exercise discovery”! Wait a minute – “Motionless Exercise”? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Unless you’re only exercising your brain power, how, exactly, do you exercise without moving?? I guess I’ll have to spend $3.98 if I want to find out!

On the order form it says: “I must agree that the Dynaflex method has given me powerfully toned muscles, put full strength in my muscles, made me so strong that I can be proud to show my friends how strong I am.” How can they expect you to agree to something that can’t possibly have happened yet?!

Also, the book has a chapter on “SECRETS OF ATTRACTING GIRLS” – I’d just love to see what kind of advice they give!

 

Do you enjoy reading Comic Book Ads? If so, please consider supporting me by clicking here for my Amazon link – I’ll get a percentage from everything you order! Thanks!

Apparently Amusing

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

Here we’ve got another installment from our friends at Fun Factory (see a 1980 ad from them here). In this ad they have fewer items, but devote more space to each one.

On the pocket spy scope, the lens is “optimally ground to view ever detail” – I always get a kick out of finding typos in printed material (I’m an editor by trade, so spotting errors is what I do), but I find it especially funny that this is in a sentence talking about detail! I also love that it’s “Great for watching sports, girls, counter spying” … so, it’s great for being a stalker, then?

On the X-Ray Specs, I like that they put the disclaimer-esque “Apparently” in front of the “see thru” bit – they never said you could actually see through stuff, so no complaining when it doesn’t work! Also, “Apparently see thru bones”? Aren’t bones the one part you’re supposed to see (not see through) with X-rays?

 

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Fly Away with Hostess Fruit Pies!

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

You guys are in for a real treat this week, because I’ve got Hostess Fruit Pies for you! Back when I did my very first post, I had no idea that Hostess had actually done a huge series of comic-style ads featuring popular comic characters.

So, maybe I’m overthinking this, but why would the Penguin use cuckoo clocks to steal money rather than just regular birds? Seems to me that he’s just adding extra complication with the clocks.

 

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I LUV You, Monogram Models!

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

Ah, the ’70s – back when you didn’t need fancy names for all your different models of cars.

Chevy Executive 1: “Hey, what should we call this new van we’re making?”

Chevy Executive 2: “What about… THE CHEVY VAN!?”

Chevy Executive 1: “That’s PERFECT!”

So after looking it up, I learned that LUV stands for “light utility vehicle,” which makes sense, but I still find it kind of funny that a pickup truck (normally marketed toward tough, rugged, manly men) would have “LUV” (something I normally associate with those terrible, chalky conversation heart candies) painted in big letters on the side.

 

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My Favorite BB is BB-8

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

We all know that guns are a polarizing issue in the U.S. However, I would hope that we can all agree that target practice in your living room might not be the best idea.

OK, I know that this is just for BB guns and pellet guns, but I still think it seems like there’s way too much potential for damage/injury for this idea to actually be suggested by responsible adults!

 

Do you enjoy reading Comic Book Ads? If so, please consider supporting me by clicking here for my Amazon link – I’ll get a percentage from everything you order! Thanks!

I Heart (Foil Stamp) You!

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

It’s another round of classifieds! There are a few interesting ones in here, but let’s start with “See Miracle of Birth.” First of all, those words seem very out of place in any comic book ad. Secondly, they’re advertising an incubator with bird eggs, but all of the emphasis is on watching the chicks hatch, with absolutely no mention whatsoever of the fact that you then have five or six (depending on which part of the ad you believe) little baby birds that need to be taken care of. Seems kind of irresponsible to me…

In other ads, I like the “OWN A PIECE OF NEW MEXICO OIL COUNTRY”… based in Iowa. And I also like “ELIMINATE DEBTS!”… by sending 35¢ to some address in Ohio – I think the first step in eliminating debt would be to stop sending money to vague classified ads from comic books!

 

Do you enjoy reading Comic Book Ads? If so, please consider supporting me by clicking here for my Amazon link – I’ll get a percentage from everything you order! Thanks!

Get Rich $1 at a Time!

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

Sorry to do two ’70s in a row, but I need to get around to scanning in more comics, so for the time being, we’re stuck in the ’70s!

Here’s yet another get-rich-quick scheme (“$15 or more in every spare hour”!), but at least this one seems like less of a scam (at least based on the info they tell you) – they send you a sample kit for free, and you just sell what you can. So at least if you don’t sell anything, you’re not out anything.

My favorite part about this is the door plate at the bottom… for The Simpson Family! Though “God Bless Our Home” sounds much more like something that would be found on the Flanders home!

 

Do you enjoy reading Comic Book Ads? If so, please consider supporting me by clicking here for my Amazon link – I’ll get a percentage from everything you order! Thanks!

Super Hero Time Machine!

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

A Super Hero Time Machine?! Sign me up! Oh, wait, it’s just a wristwatch – still cool, but not quite as impressive. I find it interesting that Spider-Man is included here, since all the other characters are DC (and this is in a DC book).

I thought the prices seemed kind of steep, especially for a comic book of this time: $19.95 and $23.95. I would’ve expected about $5-$10 for something like this back then. So just out of curiosity I looked up a historical currency converter, and it told me that $20 back then would be the equivalent of $80 today! I thought that was way too much and had to be wrong, but upon checking a few others, the answers were pretty consistently around $75-$80! So these were some pretty high ticket items! It makes me wonder how many people actually bought them.

 

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That Information Is… CLASSIFIED!

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

It’s been a while since I’ve done a classified page, so here you go! I’m actually kind of surprised to see X-Ray Spex in 1978 – for some reason I thought that was more of a ’50s/’60s thing (but apparently I was mistaken on that).

I think probably my favorite “WTF” ad on this page is: “PARENTS bug you? Try Ego Power! Send $7 for instructions” – ummm… OK… With a (lack of) description like that, it makes me wonder if anybody actually took the bait! (And if any of you out there actually did, then please let me know what this is all about!)

 

Do you enjoy reading Comic Book Ads? If so, please consider supporting me by clicking here for my Amazon link – I’ll get a percentage from everything you order! Thanks!