Clark (Kent?) Bars

January 1978

Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

I don’t know about you, but I’m not very familiar with Clark Bars. I might have seen them around when I was really little, but I don’t remember ever eating them, and I certainly haven’t seen any recently.


I’d just assumed that these went out of production years ago, which is why I was so surprised to find out that these are still in production today (and have been in continuous production since 1917)! Maybe it’s a regional thing? Or maybe they’re only available from places that sell specialty/retro candy?

Does anyone out there ever see any of these candy bars at your local grocery or convenience stores? I’m curious to know…


Satisfy Your Meat Tooth!

January 1978

Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

Now I get it! So, a while back I posted this ad for Slim Jims and was puzzled about the werewolf reference. After finding this ad, it all became clear: It must’ve been part of this ad campaign, with the advertisers assuming that you’d already seen this one, and would therefore associate Slim Jims with werewolves.


Have a happy Halloween, everyone! And if a werewolf comes after you, just toss him a Slim Jim!

Tang Team!

March 1988

Visionaries #3

Here’s your chance to join the Tang soccer team… by sending in Tang labels. Hmm… that doesn’t seem like a very effective method of finding the best players.


Then again, membership includes “Pelé’s best soccer tips,” so I guess maybe that helps the more mediocre players improve their game.

I don’t know about you, but “Tang brand breakfast beverage crystals” sounds way less appetizing than just “Tang” – I guess maybe that’s why you don’t normally hear the full, official name.

Tons of Newtons!

March 1985

G.I. Joe #33

Ah, the fun of a game included within an ad! Here we get to help a pirate through a maze to find a treasure chest full of tasty Fig and Apple Newtons! I’m sure that fun ads like this still exist, just in places I don’t see them – but I just always associate stuff like this with the ’70s and ’80s.


I’ve never really thought of Newtons as cookies, but that’s how they describe them here – huh, new perspective, I guess.

Snap Into A Smoked Beef Snack!

February 1976

Claw The Unconquered #5

I’m not really sure what the deal is with talking about werewolves here – the publishing date is February, and if things were the same in 1976 as they are in 2017, that means this was probably actually published in December, so it’s not like this was around Halloween.


Based on the way they’re marketing this (comparing it to unsatisfying sugary and crunchy snacks), I was wondering if maybe Slim Jims were a new product, but it turns out I was way off – apparently they’ve been around since 1929!

And I had no idea there were so many varieties – I’ve only ever seen original and mild. Where are the pizza Slim Jims now? I want to try those!

Gum! Buy It!

April 1980

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century #7

More gum! Kids love gum, so let’s give ’em plenty of gum ads! Here we have Bubble Yum, which, compared to Hubba Bubba, is a pretty straightforward and stripped-down ad campaign.


New flavor! Plus all the old ones too! Bubbles! Buy it!

I think my favorite part of this as is “5 great flavors and SUGARLESS.” So… you’re saying that the sugarless tastes less than great, then?

Not Just Gum, Entertainment Too!

April 1980

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century #7

So here we have “gumfighting do’s and don’ts” from Hubba Bubba, where they attempt to take bubble blowing, normally a mindless, idle activity, and turn it into something fun and exciting – competitive, even! I certainly give them credit for this novel approach!


They make a really big deal about how Hubba Bubba won’t stick to your face – I guess it never really occurred to me that something like that would be a big selling point, but given the choice, I supposed I’d go with the less messy gum too.