Endorsed By King Kong And The Moon!

May 1986

Masters Of The Universe #1

I actually had to add a new category for this one – Health & Hygiene (“Hi, Gene!”) – since stuff like this isn’t advertised in comics that often.

I remember the toothpaste pump fad in the mid-’80s – they just seemed to come out of nowhere, and then all of the sudden, they were everywhere! I think the rationale was supposed to be that the toothpaste was easier to use (was it really that difficult in the first place?) and that there would be less waste (which was difficult to judge, since the toothpaste came in opaque, rigid tubes).

I thought that toothpaste pumps died out in the ’90s, but apparently they’re still around! Whaddaya know!

(Fun fact – While typing that last part, at first I accidentally typed “toothpaste pimps,” which gave me a really interesting and amusing visual! “Hey, man, you wanna go home with some sweet fluoride tonight? You can pump it all night long!”)

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I think it’s funny that in this ad they don’t expound on the advantages of getting your toothpaste from a pump rather than a tube. The whole message of this ad can basically be summed up as: “Yay! It’s new!” While not exactly the worst I’ve seen, I think a little more product info could be a good thing.

 

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Don’t Try to Strong Arm Me!

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

You, too, can have strong arms with this “Amazing Motionless Exercise discovery”! Wait a minute – “Motionless Exercise”? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Unless you’re only exercising your brain power, how, exactly, do you exercise without moving?? I guess I’ll have to spend $3.98 if I want to find out!

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On the order form it says: “I must agree that the Dynaflex method has given me powerfully toned muscles, put full strength in my muscles, made me so strong that I can be proud to show my friends how strong I am.” How can they expect you to agree to something that can’t possibly have happened yet?!

Also, the book has a chapter on “SECRETS OF ATTRACTING GIRLS” – I’d just love to see what kind of advice they give!

 

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Heroes Return… To Your Mailbox!

January 1998

Thunderbolts #10

It’s another subscription page – this time from 1998. This one seemed to have far fewer titles than other subscription pages, but upon comparing it to one from 1997, I guess they’re actually pretty close.

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X-Men aren’t quite as dominant in this one as they were in the previous year, and the number of Star Trek titles has been cut in half – and speaking of cutting Star Trek in half, here they have “Star Trek: Star Fleet Academy” listed as one of the titles – all good Trekkies should know that Starfleet is one word!

So at this point, we’ve got subscription prices ranging from $1.66 to $1.83 per issue (or $1.25 for Marvel Vision) at a time when cover price for comics was $1.99. While saving any money is always a good thing, that’s only a discount of 8% to 16%. Without doing any official research on this, I’d say that this is probably a low point (or close to it) for subscription savings.

 

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M&M’s Are So Sporty!

May 1986

Masters of the Universe #1

M&M’s are a classic candy that has been around for generations. The colors shown here are the ones I remember growing up: orange, yellow green, light brown, and dark brown. I remember red being added (and upon looking it up, that was in 1987), but apparently red had already been used from 1960-1976, until people started to believe that red dyes caused cancer. I still think of the blue ones as the “new” M&M’s, and still think they look out of place, but apparently they’ve been around since 1995!

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Fun fact: Did you know that Steven Spielberg originally wanted to use M&M’s in the movie E.T., but Mars turned him down? So instead he approached Hershey, which was more than happy to have Reese’s Pieces featured in the film!

 

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Apparently Amusing

January 1978

The Secret Society of Super-Villains #12

Here we’ve got another installment from our friends at Fun Factory (see a 1980 ad from them here). In this ad they have fewer items, but devote more space to each one.

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On the pocket spy scope, the lens is “optimally ground to view ever detail” – I always get a kick out of finding typos in printed material (I’m an editor by trade, so spotting errors is what I do), but I find it especially funny that this is in a sentence talking about detail! I also love that it’s “Great for watching sports, girls, counter spying” … so, it’s great for being a stalker, then?

On the X-Ray Specs, I like that they put the disclaimer-esque “Apparently” in front of the “see thru” bit – they never said you could actually see through stuff, so no complaining when it doesn’t work! Also, “Apparently see thru bones”? Aren’t bones the one part you’re supposed to see (not see through) with X-rays?

 

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CBA IRL – Lethal Enforcers II

I’ve got a bunch of CBA IRL things I’ve been meaning to post, so I’m going to try to get caught up with some of these.

Here we’ve got my copy of Lethal Enforcers II: Gun Fighters for Sega CD, along with the Justifier… and the pink Justifier! You see, on the Lethal Enforcers games, if you wanted two players, you couldn’t just plug in two of the regular Justifiers (the blue ones), you needed one blue Justifier (which plugged into the game system) and one pink Justifier (which plugged into the blue Justifier). Because of this odd setup, the pink ones are kind of hard to find.

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Unfortunately, I didn’t have the pink Justifier back in the day – I actually received it as a Christmas gift about ten years ago. I’m still pretty happy to have it, though!

 

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I’d Trade a Frantic Family for a KitKat! Or for a Regular Cat…

January 1998

Thunderbolts #10

KitKats have always been one of my favorite candy bars, so I’m excited to finally be posting an ad for them! And in a historical note: This ad features a kid taking a selfie – long before selfies were a thing!

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This one is done in the style of a Mad Magazine fold-in – but who wants to fold up and crease their classic comic books?! Well, thanks to the magic of photo editing software, I’m able to show you the finished result without having to harm my book:

1998-01_KitKat_P2

 

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