Tons of Newtons!

March 1985

G.I. Joe #33

Ah, the fun of a game included within an ad! Here we get to help a pirate through a maze to find a treasure chest full of tasty Fig and Apple Newtons! I’m sure that fun ads like this still exist, just in places I don’t see them – but I just always associate stuff like this with the ’70s and ’80s.

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I’ve never really thought of Newtons as cookies, but that’s how they describe them here – huh, new perspective, I guess.

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They Would Be a Mile High if You Stack Them Up!

March 1985

G.I. Joe #33

If you want comics, here’s the place to get them! If you’ve ever read comics, you’ve probably seen ads for Mile High Comics – well, here’s the first of mine for you to check out!

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SO! MANY!! COMICS!!! This has to be my listing with the most tags – I’ve actually learned quite a bit about comics just by typing all the titles!

An All-Star Lineup!

March 1985

G.I. Joe #33

Star Comics was a division of Marvel that printed comics aimed at young kids, and mostly titles based on TV shows. I remember a few of these shows from my youth, but Ewoks was the only one that really stands out to me.

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You may notice “Peter Porker” as one of the titles – although this could very well be taken in a decidedly non-child-friendly direction, the full title of this is actually “Peter Porker, The Spectacular Spider-Ham” – yep, a pig as Spider-Man!

Spider-Man vs. Molestation?

March 1985

G.I. Joe #33

I’ve seen Spider-Man fight a lot of evil over the years, but this is the first time I’ve seen him target sexual abuse (and just for the record, I’ve never actually read any Power Pack comics, but I imagine this would be a bit out of the norm for them too).

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I was actually pretty surprised by the forwardness of this ad, especially for something aimed at kids, but it certainly gets the point across!

I love that you can order a special Marvel comic about sexual abuse prevention – I sure hope that turns up in a bargain bin I’m browsing through someday!

Taking Quite a Risk

March 1985

G.I. Joe #33

I’ve never actually played Risk – it seems like it would be too complicated to be any fun (for me, anyway) – but it’s been around for decades, so I guess they must be doing something right!

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“[I]t’s just like the game the big boys play” – so here they are, quite literally, calling war a game! Sorry, Parker Brothers, but I think quite a few people would disagree with that sentiment.

The Creation of Creation Cons

March 1985

G.I. Joe #33

Considering how huge and insane comic conventions have become in the last decade or so, sometimes it’s hard to imagine that they haven’t always been gigantic media spectacles. This simple list of upcoming events from Creation almost seems quaint.

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I wish they had prices listed – I’d love to be able to compare it to today’s tickets!

“Throw Me the Idol!”

March 1985

G.I. Joe # 33

There’s this awesome theater nearby that’s been showing classic movies every Sunday, and for two consecutive Sundays I got to enjoy Indiana Jones on the big screen! So when I ran across this ad, I figured I might as well keep up with the Jones’!

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On first glance, I thought this was a video game, but it’s actually a role-playing game.

My favorite part about this ad? The fine print at the bottom that says, “PRODUCTS OF YOUR IMAGINATION are trademarks owned by TSR, Inc.” Damn! That’s pretty severe!